http://theselby.com/galleries/special-projects/the-selby-x-bugaboo-x-diesel/

Excursion day with the pool boy

“Do we look like brother and sister” -said to every person we encountered                 

STI CONTROL BRANCH – GET THE PARTY STARTED

(WARNING: you may find this confronting, graphic and discover way to much disturbing information about me. 

I’m well aware of the irony present in-relation to my previous rant.)

Strange looking fellow makes himself very know when entering the room, wonders over to the drink fountain which is what I happen to be seated next too. He’s standing over me making generalized statements to the whole room about how the song playing has got to be at least 30 years old. (I don’t think he’s all there, nor believe he would be sexually active & it puzzles me as to why he is here.) Continues to stand over me as he drinks 3 cups of water resuming ragingly inappropriate eye contact.  

The radio then starts a talk back topic of scheduling in sex with your partner and then timomatic comes on the radio and is apparently called “the O man” now, female commentator then gushes and saids it must be such an honor to be called that. The importance of “time & place dawns on me. 

The loving couple previously passionately kissing then have the strange man migrate to a chair next to him as he needed to plug his iPad into the wall. Extends his hand and offers an introduction, the couple is Evan and Ellie, strange fellow then starts singing “evie evie let your hair down” and then hands then both a business card. 

Let me remind you we are in the STI Clinic waiting room. 

Evan gets called, but wait there is two Evans! They both rise as they are confused and are some what competitive, both keen to ditch the genital lumps. 

Of course then next name to be called is Ellie, I saw it coming, she did not. We both rise, “I’m Ellie too” I say, left behind Evan perks up “your kidding me”, we’re all laughing and having a good time. Leaving our worries and infections behind! 

Black guy with swag walks in, flicks through brochures; you can tell he’s read then before, he ain’t no stranger to the game. 

I’m finally seen my the doctor who congratulations me ever so patronizing on being hep c, hep b, HIV, chlaymdia and syphils free. Asks me why i didn’t take my antibiotics properly, “it was my birthday”, you wanted to get drunk, she said as she fucked my eyes with disgust. No vaginal examination today just take your fucking* antibiotics properly this time. 

And I strut out, no invasive prodding to old mate beaver today, I’m ready to take on Thrush for the 2nd time. 

*didnt say fucking but might aswell have. 

I over shared didn’t I. Oh crap. 

Hey Phil

      

Well

I know I haven’t written anything in a while which is part laziness an a complete under-utilization of brain power (does that even make sense?) (cue “I’m out of touch I’m out of time lyrics sung in tune) but it is also due to the realisation that people actually view this page. It’s the combination of flattery and daunting fear (can’t forget laziness) that has perpeled me to do jack nothing. 

Out of billions of webpages friends and acquaintances have taken time out of there busy Instagram feeds to look at the documentation of photos and thoughts via this page. I know this because I have had things quoted back to me. Realizing that people think you’re interesting enough to take up a small block of their time makes me feel quite uncomfortable. Now I sound like my head is so far up my bumhole and I think the world of myself but it is a very bizzare feeling to know that people around you know what your thinking. They know, they let me know, I then know they know. I realise an awkies fart. Vicious cycle.  

It is quite ridiculous that I am having a mild rant about how I am aware of an audience. I mean you’re not reading my diary hidden under my pillow (non-existent) you’re viewing a public page I am posting via the fucking internet. 

Luckily enough nothing interesting has happened to me or passed through my noggin in months. So the old squirmish feeling is yet to be re-erect.  “Dont push it. Let it happen naturally. Birth is beautiful” -gynecologist 



All TChow’d out

 

Where are my keys

Chain smoking kids

Been lazy

Wall of shame

If you made it, well congratulations to you. I get to stare at your munted mug everyday. A priceless gift I could never repay you for.
To be continued…